<< back

Fish 'n' Chips - Apparently, you can get rather good Fish 'n' Chips somewhere in London, but that somewhere is definitely not located at the small caff under Tower Bridge. Now while I don't wish to be picky (when traveling, you often have no other choice anyway), I really do think they should consider removing the skin and the scales of the fish before they deep-fry it and serve it to unsuspecting travelers. At least they had the courtesy to chop off the head first.

This, I might point out, is not something you will find in the finer restaurants anywhere in the world. Fine restaurants apparently consider it haute cuisine to have the head of your supper stare accusingly from under its lemon-mushroom sauce on your plate at the person sitting next to you. In the poshest of establishments it is considered a sign of severe low-browedness to request of the waiter that the head be kindly removed to the kitchen garbage, just as it is dreadfully impolite for your neighbor to ask if you could please turn your plate so that your dinner's baleful gaze is fixed upon something far less inclined to feel guilt, such as the basket of bread or a U.S. Senator.

Ploughman's Lunch - Hey, don't steal his lunch! Have you any idea how hard it is to push that plow around all day? He needs that slab of cheese and hunk of bread. It would also be wise to let him keep the sweetly sour relish he calls "pickle." You don't want it anyway.

Shepherd's Pie - Meat pie with mashed potatoes on top. Becoming rather popular in America, and actually rather good, although do see the warning under "Cornish Pastry" above.

Spotted Dick - I don't know what this is, and quite frankly, I don't want to know. I think this is one food item the British should just keep to themselves. (Actually, it's a steamed suet pudding, but since as far as I know suet's only practical function is to be placed in a bird feeder — apparently to scare away birds and attract squirrels — and desserts are never, ever meant to be "steamed," I'd steer clear form it anyway.)

"Toad-in-the-Hole" - This is a sausage-in-a-blanket. I don't care how many people argue with me about different cuisines and different methods of preparation. This is still a sausage-in-a-blanket.

more >>

getting about | food | pubs & drinking | money & shopping
people & body parts | general | special section