People
& Body Parts
Arse -One's posterior
region, otherwise known as the derrière, gluteus maximus,
and sometimes butt. To avoid the possibility of any unfortunate harm
done to your person due to your inadvertent use of foul language whilst
on Holiday in Britan, please see the entry for the word "fanny" below.
Bloke
- Your average Joe Schmo-type gent. Although it is usually used to refer
to a man, it does offer an interesting genderless alternative to the problematic
"man" as a generic noun, and it is so much less dry and boring sounding
than simply using "person" all the time. "Bloke" is just one of those
friendly kind of words.
Bobby
- If you've ever seen the Keystone Cops, you know what a bobby looks like.
They keep the peace in England and say things like "Roight. Now what's
with all this here?" and "There's nothin' to see, carry on, carry on."
At least, that's what they do in the pictures, and we all know that the
pictures is what life is really like.
Bum -
(See: Arse).
Fanny
- One of those words that could really get you in trouble since, not only
does it mean two different things in American and British, but it also
has very different tones. In American, it is a somewhat innocuous, almost
childish word for someone's behind, ranking up there with "hiney" and
"tush." In British, however, it is slang for a woman's genitals, along
the lines of the American "pussy." Now you know why the laugh track on
BBC sitcoms always twitters when a character named "Fanny" gets called
by name on the show. In case you haven't' realized it, I really only included
"arse," "bum," and went to great lengths to explain "fanny" so that I
could put in print as many words for "bottom" as possible in quick succession.
Yes, humor can sometimes be childish, but face it: "hiney" is just a hilarious
word. Go ahead. Say it to out loud a few times. "Hiney, hiney, hiney,
hiney, hiney." See, fun!
Knock Up
- To call someone on the phone. I only stuck a copy of this entry here
with "People and Body Parts" because in American English, well quite frankly,
it would belong in this section! I include it here in an attempt to ward
off that inevitable look of shock and confusion that will freeze on your
face the first time an English person says to you "I'll knock you up later,
then." in a light, bright, cheery voice apparently totally devoid of evil
intent or a serious offer.
M.P. -
In case you happen to glance at one of their newspapers and read through
the headlines ("newspaper" is British for "tabloid"), you might begin
to think that England is ruled by a police state. I, too, wondered at
first why there seemed to be so many Military Police in the news until
someone finally told me, "Reid, you moron, that stands for Member of Parliament."
Armed with this
knowledge, you will be able to follow all the latest breaking news from
the government of Great Britain and learn who's who in the very biggest
gears of their Parliamentary system. This is, of course, if you can find
any of this sort of news buried under all the splashy scandal headlines
such as "M.P. Found in Bed with Hooker and Yorkshire Terrier" (As it turned
out, the M.P. was forced to resign—and forced to receive his $120,000-a-year
pension—the so-called "hooker" was actually a member of the Royal
family—boy, am I gonna get in trouble over that one—and the
terrier refused to comment and is now sipping martinis in Tahiti and has
been seen going about with someone that bears a suspicious resemblance
to Lassie.)
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